“My story is of a girl who lost everything and is now gaining back more than she ever had.
I was fourteen when a traumatic event triggered my chronic illnesses. I started experiencing countless symptoms, mostly due to autonomic nervous system dysfunction. The worst symptom of all, was the extreme pain in my chest that never went away.
My friends didn’t understand what I was experiencing and I quickly fell out of contact with most; my parents tried to understand, but it was unlike anything they had ever known. When my parents and I looked for help, therapists misdiagnosed me, and doctors mistreated me. Clearly, people in medical professions don’t easily listen to teenage girls.
The daily combination of emotions and symptoms seemed endless. I eventually had to pause my high school education and I stopped leaving the house. I’d go through phases of extreme anger, guilt, sadness, and so much fear. I felt trapped in my life and body, and I kept getting worse! It was extremely hard for my family, but it was the hardest for me. For the majority of my chronic illness journey, I’ve felt alone.
Despite depression and trauma, I never gave up. Something inside of me knew that, given the right support, I could heal. I also feared suffering and knew that if I continued going mistreated, I would suffer more. It wasn’t until I was seventeen (three years later), that I was properly diagnosed with Dysautonomia (POTS), Centrally Mediated Neuropathic Pain, Autism, and PTSD. The healing began.
For a year, I built trust with my medical team and myself. Within the past three years, I have slowly accepted different types of intervention into my life including psychotherapy, medication, ketamine infusion therapy, spiritual counseling, and – most recently – physical therapy. It’s important to mention that I only began these interventions when I felt ready. True healing cannot take place when it is forced.
I’ve asked myself: Why me? Why has it been so long? Why has it been so intense? The answers to these questions have slowly made their way to me. I’ve come to learn that what I’ve experienced has made me an extraordinary human. I have built strength through time, and gained insights about the human condition that most people may never figure out in their entire lifetime. I have learned about the building blocks that make up who I am, and have come to know my life’s purpose: to heal.
I am continually motivated by my desire to heal others and to share information about healing invisible and chronic illnesses. I am finishing high school full time, while also writing for my blog: forthehealingsoul.com. I am also guiding monthly sessions about chronic illness and spirituality, mentoring youth with chronic pain, and partaking in many forms of therapy. If you would have told me four years ago about all that I am doing today, I wouldn’t have believed you.
When I was at my worst, I hated hearing, ‘It will get better.’ It was upsetting because it didn’t matter – I was not ‘better’ and therefore, it felt placating and unrealistic. I’m not sharing my story as proof that things can change, instead, I hope that my story proves that you are not alone – there are people, like me, who are determined to spread information and find answers that will not only take the pain away, but usher in its place, a beautiful and fulfilling life.”
Daniela
