“At a very young age, I was diagnosed with MS, also known as multiple sclerosis. This is a disease that attacks the brain and spinal cord, that could potentially leave you paralyzed. It’s an incurable disease, so when I found out that I had it, I was extremely scared. When the doctor first told me the news, I was feeling such mixed emotions. Shocked was the first feeling I had. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Questions started swarming my head: How come I got this? Why me? But after the news really settled in, I felt an intense wave of sadness, as I believed I would never use my legs again. No more soccer, no more walking or running; my life was going to change. Everything I wanted and hoped for was taken away from me. This was one of the few moments in my life where I felt so utterly hopeless, as I knew there was no cure for this disease.
I was a very energetic child growing up, doing sports such as soccer and softball. Every day I was doing something active, whether it be playing a sport, or just simply running around the house. So being very young receiving this news was extremely hard, especially when the doctors have no clue how it happened or why it did. I didn’t want to give up on the idea of walking again, even when they told me I will most likely never be able to.
Every single thing inside me was screaming, ‘get up, move, feel something in your legs’, and it was so frustrating that I just couldn’t do it. Every night I willed myself to get up, and even if I fell down, I forced myself up and tried again. I was determined to walk again, and I told myself that this disease will not win and take the life I once had away from me.
Then, the craziest thing happened, to simply put it, a miracle. I was able to walk about a week after the diagnosis. The doctors don’t know how it happened, I just got up and walked. It was such an indescribable moment; and from that day on, my symptoms of MS seemingly disappeared from my body.
Now, I’m not sure if it will ever come back, but having experienced those couple of months unable to move my legs was very difficult, and really affected me. And I know that my experiences with MS are unique, but I feel grateful for the things that this disease has taught me. Since then, I have participated in a variation of sports in high school, such as cross-country, Track and Field, and soccer. I’ve never felt held back by this disease. The determination and will I had to walk again at such a young age will always be what I remember most about my experience living with MS; I never gave up, and I hope that others who live with an illness know that yes, it might impact your life in many different ways, but it will not define who you are, as I never let it define me.”
Eliana
