“Shaky balance, blurred vision, numbness, pins and needles, and weakness were just some of my first symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis that would come and go in the year of 2003. After attending a wedding in October, barley able to walk or see clearly, I checked into the ER the following morning. In the hospital, terrified surrounded by monitors, beeping machines, after being poked and prodded, I headed for an MRI and spinal-tap. Not able to even comprehend what was happening, I just remembered the doctor telling my family and I that I have MS. I had no idea what MS was but I had a feeling that this would change my life forever.
This is my recollection of my experiences hindsight with the words and language I use to describe what I was going through, but at the time it was trial and error figuring out what was happening. It felt like that for years… My body was under attack by this disease of the nervous system and spinal cord. The first few years were the worst. In 2005, I had congestive heart failure and was in intensive care for weeks. The cycle of illness was in full-swing—drugs, relapse, steroids, remission, physical therapy, drugs, relapse, steroids, remission, physical therapy, and so on. I would be on a medication and it would work until I had a flare/relapse of the disease and would then need to change medications. This rollercoaster went on for over 10 years. If you will, visualize MS as a puzzle. Every time I would have a relapse, that puzzle would break apart. The shatter of my puzzle left me with many missing pieces but I always kept enduring and moving forward with my life as best as possible.
I was on several different disease modifying drugs (DMDs) and they all failed. Exhausted of the downward-spiral of illness, I was depleted mentally and physically on my knees, desperate to be rescued from my prison of physical ailments and mental anguish. Still in the cycle of illness, I was running out of options for treatment. I learned about diet and nutrition and experimented on what made me feel best. I was in chiropractic care and got to understand my nervous system in a different way and how adjustments can help my overall health. I also started working out regularly doing pilates and Kundalini yoga. I distinctly remember driving to my barre class and getting a call from a nurse. She said my MRI results from a test I took a week earlier came back showing active lesions in my brain. I was feeling great as I was about to go work out, but ended up symptomatic the next day, unable to walk. That was the last DMD I took and I told myself there had to be another way.
That’s when I turned to the internet… looking at stem cell therapy in Mexico, until a friend of mind told me she knew a guy that got stem cells. I quickly reached out to him and had a conversation with him about his experience. I learned that the stem cell transplant was being done in Chicago. My city! By trial only. So, I contacted the hospital Northwestern University and set up my appointment. I was accepted into the trial and went through the haemtoietic stem cell transplant HSCT in July 2018. It aims to stop the damage MS causes by whipping out and then regrowing your immune system, using your stem cells. As with everything, everyone’s experience and results are different. This July will be the five year anniversary of my new stem cells and I am happy to say that I have been off all medications and my health is improving everyday. I am not running or doing jumping jacks yet but I’m not flaring up anymore.
As miraculous as the transplant was, it was just a part of my puzzle. Over the years, I learned there is no ONE answer or quick fix, as much as I was searching for that magic pill. My understanding and approach towards my health have been holistic for years but there seems to be something missing… but the dots are starting to come together. I was feeling lighter, compassionate, kind and understanding toward myself and all that I have been through. Was this the missing puzzle piece to my disease? It was the reconnection to MYSELF. The core, the soul of everyone, I believe is goodness, love, connection and compassion but gets bogged and burdened by the past, the future, the unknown, doubts, judgements fear and pain. It’s hard to explain in words the healing I am experiencing but the words gratitude, acceptance, and love emanate from my being. It is not all sunshine and rainbows, there will always be pain and loss. I still grieve the old me but I ‘just remember the sweet is never as sweet without the sour, and I know sour.’ My journey started with a chronic illness that attacked my body and in some ways robbed me but I absolutely with no doubt love the person I am today and can’t see it any other way. This journey of self exploration and healing is the road less traveled… it is work, but the pay off is irreplaceable. It’s connection. It’s healing. It’s love. It’s more self love. To this day, I am still learning to love myself and all of my parts, including the MS part, but I now have grace and admiration for myself.”
Cecilia
Chicago, Illinois
