manage you do
chronic is the word they give you when you’ve run out of options
“learn to live with it” they say,
no cure – just pain management
so manage you do
you push down the fear of what the future holds,
the grief of what you’ve lost in the past
you’ve had to grow up too fast
the appointments, insurance battles, and phone calls
can’t afford to slip and fall
so many lonely drives, silent cries
pills and bills
i wonder if i have enough will
fighting for accommodations,
met with just another medical consultation
i’m here, can’t you see me i want to scream
i thought you were on my team
but you smile and nod
because manage you do
behind your laugh, there is a layer of grief
always in pain, searching for relief
but silently you take your meds
quietly flare in bed
the weight of everything you’ve lost
an unknowable, invisible cost
Ellie Chang
